i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
