i don't like sucking hair
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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