It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You did what with his pubic hair?
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