I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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