I can tuck mytits in my pants
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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