I puked a lego.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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