are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
