I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
