What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
