I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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