moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
