I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
