hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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