he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
