I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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