I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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