We're facebook friends in real life
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
