google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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