I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
