We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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