we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
