he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
