covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
