her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
