If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
