We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
