I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
