I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
