You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
