Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
