life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We are all done wearing pants today
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
