She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think your dad took our porno
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
