i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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