Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
