I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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