and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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