I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
