i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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