This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
