their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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