and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
