Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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