3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
