So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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