My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
