Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
