I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
