Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
