OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we're making bets on your personal life
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
