At least make sure they are 18
Why
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
